The Yellow Brick Road of Pregnancy & Loss
February 8, 2008
Tonight I watched “The Celebrity Apprentice” with my best friend, Sarah. Each and every week, I am strangely fascinated by the celebrities running advertising campaigns. Since this is the first season I’ve ever watched, I can’t say how it compares to other seasons. But Stephen Baldwin is one of the contestants! (Note: Out of respect for the emotional content being discussed, I have put my comments about my love of Stephen Baldwin at the end of the post. Scratch that. I accidentally deleted them when I was trying to copy/paste them to the end of the post. So, we’ll talk about Stephen Baldwin and his icy blue eyes another time, I promise.)
So, anyway…”Celebrity Apprentice”. We watch it every week, and each episode continues into the next, so if you miss a week then you miss each action-packed moment. When the teaser plays for the next episode, I want to watch it right then and there. Do not make me wait! At least when my favorite show “Psych” is over, I feel like I’ve had a complete viewing experience having seen one full-length episode. I’m not that into cliff-hangers, which is why I put off reading Jonalyn Fincher’s blog until tonight.
Jonalyn and her husband, Dale, run a ministry called Soulation. Having received Dale’s book, Living with Questions, as a freebie at NYWC (and in the mail again today to do a review–it must be a sign from God), I was pleased to discover that Dale also has a blog and a really cool ministry. Dale also has a really beautiful wife named Jonalyn.
While Dale is a write and post it kind of blogger; Jonalyn is not. She likes to leave you hanging waiting for her next fantastic installment. Because of this, I never really had a chance to dig into Jonalyn’s personal blog like I did this evening. You know, if I read one I’d have to wait for Part 2 and then there were so many old posts that I wanted to read, and this led to that…but I finally devoured Jonalyn’s blog.
Jonalyn Fincher is a fantastic writer.
Especially of interest to many women are Jonalyn’s two series of posts called “A Theology of Female Embodiment I & II”. Part I is composed of five posts that talk about Jonalyn’s recent pregnancy, and Part II is the heart-wrenching details of her “prenatal fetal death”. Clear, honest, and straight forward, Jonalyn doesn’t drown you in her sorrows, nor does she cover her thoughts with Christian catch-phrases.
Start with “A Theology of Female Embodiment I: One Month of Pregnancy”, by clicking here. And because some of you (like my mom) make get lost, I’m gonna post links to each post (and make the pingbacks on her blog go crazy). If you can manage to safely navigate your way though Jonalyn’s blog, just keep reading from Jan. 4 until you get to the end of “A Theology of Female Embodiment II. “
Oh, and get Jonalyn Fincher’s book, The Ruby Slippers. If her blog posts are this good, imagine how wonderful her book must be!
The only real problem I have with the Finchers is this–they seem to be die-hard Welsh Corgi enthusiasts, while I, on the other hand, am inclined towards Shih Tzus. At least they’re not cat people, right? (Just kidding…I really do like cats.)
Jonalyn Fincher’s Theology of Female Embodiment Links–
I. One Month of Pregnancy :: Part 1 …Part 2…Part 3…Part 4…Part 5
II. One Week of Miscarriage :: Part 1…Part 2…Part 3…Part 4…Part 5
Amy Sondova is a writer specializing in media writing, including interviews and reviews, as well as blogging. Having interviewed over 30 of the top musicians, writers, and speakers in the Christian media, Amy has also written countless columns, reviews, and articles on various topics including mental illness, self-injury, working with teenagers, and Christianity. She lives with her best friend, Sarah, and has two dogs, a cockatiel, and a betta named General Tso.
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Amy, thanks for highlighting our miscarriage… Jonalyn did a great job putting down her raw experience…
Your readers may be interested that at Soulation we have ‘fledge,’ where they can get articles bi-weekly as well, reflecting on culture, etc. I think they’d enjoy that as well and Jonalyn and I both work on those articles.
And by the way, we do have one cat as well! LOL
Long live the Corgis!
dale
When I was about 8 weeks along with Caleb I started to spot and I remember the terrible fear that came over me when the doctor could not find the heartbeat. Thankfully, Caleb made it safely into this world, but I can’t imagine what pain would have followed had he not. Jonalyn’s story was beautiful in the sense that her faith in God remained and she was able to see past the pain of the moment. Thanks for linking her blog.
Kim, Caleb would be the one to cause a ruckus in the womb. I love that kid. Oh, and I loved your snow pics, too.
In thinking about it, a woman’s purpose for so many years was to make babies, and then make more babies for a variety of reasons including to work the farm, bring forth the family name, and so on. We see pictures in the Bible of Hannah and Elizabeth and Sarah and Rachel, who were unable to conceive, but eventually did.
Like Jonalyn says in her blog, women were often cursed with the inability to have children as well. So pregnancy is a big issue, and still many people feel like things happen to women because they sin.
Still the core issue for women is bearing children and motherhood. Just the other night I was at women’s Bible study, and our leader asked a question and then added, “Or when the rest of you have children.” Like it was just assumed that I would get married and have children (and be able to have children). It irked me, but I believe she meant it to be kind because children really are a blessing. And I’ve stared before that I do not want to bear children (plus it would be very bad for me physically), but would instead like to adopt…even if I don’t get married.
I think an important statistic is missing in all of this–one in six pregnancies results in miscarriages. That’s a heck of a lot of women carrying around the burden of shame, and not everyone can see hope in God. Even then, a woman feels like a failure.
Very well put.